Just what faculties attracted you to definitely your own ADHD partner? That was a question in my ADHD Companion Questionnaire, many comprehensive search up to now into chatki the ADHD and you can relationships. We are going to glance at the answers in this post.

Basic, rolklore persists about your sorts of anybody interested in adults having ADHD to possess intimate dating-and you can the other way around. Never head one to regarding the You.S. alone, adults with many standard of ADHD matter away from 10 so you’re able to 30 million. To put it differently, they aren’t clones. None is actually their friends.

1. “Opposites Interest”: Those with ADHD is interested in “organized” and you may joyless workers bees who will hold the trains running to own this new both of them and you may who subsequently is actually interested in its free-saturated ADHD partner’s sense of humor and sense of enjoyable.
2. “Including Draws Instance”: People who have ADHD is interested in anybody else having ADHD because the they inherently see one another over people “Muggle” you may.

Those two stereotypes are completely contradictory. But really, it echoed with equal certitude from ADHD people when i is comparing my personal basic book-but still today. Sure, lovers fitting one another stereotypes turned up within my local an internet-based dialogue organizations. But really, anywhere between those two extremes lay the new teeming form of individual anyone and their dating.

Once i wish to state, “People who have ADHD are just like another individuals, simply way more.” Together with same holds true for dating where you to definitely or both people features ADHD: It have trouble with an identical conditions that issue all the lovers, only moreso.

Building the question

Tips shot these stereotypes? Creating a concern turned-out tricky when creating my personal ADHD Lover Survey. I compensated with the a very shed “fishing expedition.”

A portion of the restrict: Questionnaire respondents didn’t are the ADHD couples, just the partners of grownups that have ADHD (while some and got ADHD by themselves). Therefore, the latest respondents thought otherwise responded centered on what they had gleaned off their ADHD lover.

Also, the newest traits We indexed have been instead arbitrary. And you may, respondents were not determining anywhere between traits which were present and you may characteristics you to definitely have been attractive.

Nevertheless, new look should begin somewhere. We paid towards the several inquiries, utilizing the same range of characteristics for every single question:

1. Which of your ADHD Lover’s traits attracted you? (Evaluate All of that apply and you may/otherwise include people that are not noted.)
2. And that of your qualities do you believe attracted the ADHD companion for you? (Glance at All that pertain and you may/or put one which aren’t detailed.)

Researching the brand new Qualities

Excite incur with me. It is a tiny tricky to understand in the beginning. But by the evaluating the 2 groups of studies side-by-side, we can see if a graphic exists. Which is, are cumulative “personality” traits more prevalent towards ADHD partner (the newest mature with ADHD) and/or most other companion (the new respondent)?

step 1. And this Faculties Attracted One to Their ADHD Spouse?

For it basic chart, We sorted through this earliest question, sorted regarding highest in order to reduced: “And this of ADHD Partner’s traits attracted you?”

Yellow means the brand new respondent’s ADHD Lover’s traits, those who the survey respondent discovered really attractive. It seems like the latest four huge draws are:

1. Spontaneous; enjoyable becoming having: this trait was depicted almost doubly during the ADHD people such as respondents but still quite present in the fresh new respondents
2. Humorous; cheerful: a tiny bit so much more illustrated for the ADHD people
3. Interesting; imaginative, “different”: about a 3rd so much more portrayed for the ADHD partners
4. Attractive; sexy: on the equal, having respondents get on their own just a bit more attractive and you will sexy than their ADHD partners (yes, prejudice will be difficulty here…once i told you…”fishing journey”).

1. Decent money movie director: huge disparity indeed there between participants and you may ADHD couples